Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? It prevents people being charged twice for essentially the same service. “I don’t know,” she said. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. 100 characters remaining. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. One to shake it. “What do you teach?”. I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. See more funny lawyer jokes. by Team Scary Mommy. “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. Please contact us for more information! CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! “Would you say you’re honest?”, “Honest?” replies Peterson. ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal. Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?” Witness: “Guess.”, Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Witness: “All of them. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: “You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings.”. Funny Lawyer Jokes. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? 28. Keep Laughing Forever With These Lawyer Jokes! Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. A second fella goes right up to him and says "Excuse me but that was extremely offensive. Lawyer jokes. Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at! “John,” said the teen who was on trial. says Saint Peter. Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke.com. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. The court clerk sits over there. These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. This is weird, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the College of Law building. Apparently, I’ve been told laughing at yourself is great for the soul. “Yes. ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! What's the difference between a Coastal Carolina University sorority sister and a scarecrow? 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. A: At the city morgue. God understands that he is not a lawyer. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. The best lawyer jokes. A: They both look good hanging from a tree. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. “There were only three of us.”. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. 22 / 75. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. A good lawyer knows the law. Judge: Is that all? ). A good lawyer knows the law. If you like lawyer jokes, then this is the right place. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. funny jokes gay jokes ... Lawyer jokes. The rest are true stories. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. 1. The other is a fish. A: At the city morgue. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A: Three, One to climb the ladder. Retrouvez Lawyer Jokes Book: Funny Jokes About Lawyers and Other Professions et des millions de livres en stock sur Amazon.fr. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. In the cemetary. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. A: The caterer. Funny Clean Joke – 25. Funny Lawyer Jokes. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. 1. "Fifty-five?" Joking, haha. Home. A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. In honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own. As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. ... Where can you find a good lawyer? When they land, they screw up everything forever. “Milton,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”, “I was in prison,” he answered. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. Suddenly I found myself on a clean, snow-free section of walkway. The rest are true … Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? Lawyer Jokes and Puns. One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.”. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. Because they arrgh! a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. Honour, ” the officer answered jokes so funny you just can t... The opposing lawyers... lawyer: `` judge, I was showing a group of lawyers to smile for crime! 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